Being Mum - Talking about racism

By Josie Pritchard

Despite a global pandemic altering everything we take for granted about our lives, I am actually pleased to see that systemic racism has been thrust to the forefront of our news feeds in the past couple of weeks. It needs to be talked about and we need to know how we can help our children navigate their way through it, to a more aware future.

Racism is a difficult thing to talk about, especially to young children where parents may shy away from any discussions about prejudice and discrimination, but the science is clear: the sooner these topics are approached the better.

It can be shown that babies as young as six months notice things like skin colour and, by the age of five, children will show a bias towards a particular race. This is a evolutionary thing that may have been important thousands of years ago but now, in our multicultural communities, ignoring it could lead to these biases becoming deep rooted prejudices, and make them harder to shift.

So how do you talk to your child about racism? Here are some age-appropriate ideas from UNICEF you could try (www.unicef.org).

If your child is under five years old and they begin to point out differences between themselves and other people, do not shush them out of embarrassment or they will think the subject is taboo. This could lead to further problems in the future. Instead discuss how all people are different and unique, but all people are human. Point out how it would be unfair to treat people differently. Five year olds have a good grasp of what is "fair"! Introduce your child to diverse cultures and ethnicities by trying their food, watching their films, reading their stories and, if the opportunity arises, encourage friendships with children from other cultures. It will all reduce prejudice.

Primary school age children become better at understanding their emotions but will still need parental guidance to answer their questions. First you need to try to keep on top of what they are learning at school, on the TV and on social media, then discuss it together. Show them that you are interested in order to build their trust and encourage them to come to you with anything they might find difficult. Discuss examples of stereotyping and racial bias in the media, such as why certain people are portrayed as villains in stories when others are not. Talk about history and how racial divides have been broken such as the ending of apartheid in South Africa and the civil rights movement in the United States.

By the time children reach secondary school they will have a better understanding of abstract concepts and will have formed their own views. Try to be understanding and keep the conversation going. Find out what they know about racism and discrimination. They may well know more than you realise and should be willing to enter into discussions with you about it. Be interested in what they know, what they have learned and what they can teach you. Ask their opinions and try to introduce a different perspective to expand their understanding. Encourage their activism; wanting to change the world for the better is always a good thing.

Remember, parents are children’s introduction to the world. What they see you do is as important as what they hear you say. Take every opportunity to challenge racism, demonstrate kindness and stand up for every person's right to be treated with dignity and respect.